"It's not your fault"
The Monday morning after it happened Natasha found herself in the guidance counselor’s office at the church school she attended. She had tried to go to class, but she couldn’t make herself enter the room. She had tried to pray, but wondered if God would ever listen to her again. Mrs. T was someone she didn’t know well, but she felt she had to talk to somebody. Fortunately Mrs. T was free and, with one look at Natasha’s face, she ushered her into her office and closed the door.
Immediately, Natasha began to cry and told her what had happened. Through her cousin, 16-year-old Natasha had met Justin, an older guy from another school. She liked him right away so she didn’t need much persuading when he invited her out on the weekend. She was a little surprised that the date turned out to be a party, held out in the country on an empty field. She was a little uneasy that she didn’t see anyone she knew, but she liked Justin’s attention, and shivered with the risky excitement of the night. She drank some of the beer Justin offered and told herself to loosen up and have fun. She nestled close to him as they danced to the music pounding out of the boombox.
Humiliated and dirty
When he led her off into the bushes, she knew they’d be kissing, but she wasn’t prepared for how quickly he moved to take off her clothes. She tried to protest but he kept covering her mouth with aggressive kisses. …
“This is not your fault Natasha. Justin took advantage of you, and forced sex on you at a time and place that you did not choose.”
What is acquaintance rape?
Acquaintance rape is sexual assault by someone known to the one assaulted, often on dates. Sexual assault is any unwanted act of a sexual nature that is imposed on another person – anything from sexual touching to intercourse. While victims are usually women (and not only younger women like Natasha), they also include men.
Sexual assault can be deeply troubling and traumatic for the victim. Common responses include shock, disbelief, embarrassment, fear, depression, helplessness, disorientation, flash-backs, denial, anxiety, anger, self-blame, and difficulties eating or sleeping. To try to avoid the pain, some turn to hurting themselves or misuse drugs or alcohol. Some feel suicidal. …
Acquaintance rape, the Bible, and the Christian story
Throughout the Bible we read of a God who brings justice to victims and freedom to those who are oppressed. Especially in the life of Jesus, we see God’s desire for wholeness and right relations among all people. In light of these main themes of Scripture, we consider one biblical story of acquaintance rape” Amnon’s sexual assault of his half-sister Tamar (
2 Samuel 13:1-21).
Amnon became obsessively attracted to Tamar, and consulted his cousin Jonadab on what to do. Jonadab devised a trap for Tamar, which Amnon then set. He arranged with his father, King David, that he would be alone in his room with Tamar, and, over her protests, sexually assaulted her. After the assault, he “hated her” and ordered her from his room.
Like other victims of rape, Tamar was overpowered by her offender. Amnon acted not out of love, but from selfish force and abuse of power, giving no thought to the consequences for Tamar. …
Amnon acted out of selfish force and abuse of power, giving no thought to the consequences for Tamar.
Steps toward healing
The memory of a sexual assault is an incredibly hard burden to bear, but is does not have to control the rest of your life. You can find the way to healing and wholeness. The often requires the help of others, and it will likely take time. Here are some principles for finding help.
1. Speak to someone you can trust.
2. Find a therapist.
3. Consider legal action.
4. Be patient with yourself.
5. Know that God cares for you.
6. Plan a service of healing.
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